Aside

Growing love through patience

“Now so much I know that things just don’t grow
If you don’t blessed them with your patience”

– “Emmylou” by First Aid Kit

This past weekend as I was driving across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, these lyrics jumped out at me. Things don’t grow if you don’t bless them with your patience. How true those words are.

As a twenty something, my Facebook is bombarded everyday with engagements, weddings, babies, etc. While I am a big fan of all of those things and thoroughly enjoy seeing everyone’s happiness (and looking at all their photos too!), I am by no means ready for any of that.

I recently read the post that went viral, “23 Things to do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23,” as well as a Freshly Pressed response titled “Sorry, I’m Not Sorry (My response to 23 things).” While both of those posts were very interesting, neither of them really spoke to me as I don’t feel the need to do any of those 23 things (or I’ve already done them) before I start a family and I am also not married with a child depending on me so my situation is totally different. However, both of these posts made me start thinking about my own relationship and where I am in my life.

I am totally and completely happy. T and I have been together for a year and a half. I feel that we’ve both really grown in our relationship, learning to work together through problems that life puts in our path. I do not want to marry him right now. Someday in the future, yes. But not right now. It’s not because I have need to go live on a beach in Thailand or hitchhike across the country first. But I am at a time in my life where so many big things are happening that I don’t want to throw them all in one pot to boil at once. I want to savor each and every step.

I graduated college. Met T. Fell in love. Got a real job. Bought a car. Raised a puppy. Traveled some. Went on an international business trip.

Next I will move out of my childhood home. Go back to school. Travel some more. Work more toward finding my dream job.

There is no time in my life to think about engagements and weddings and babies. That time will come. But I am not ready for it now.

But then  I look at photographs taken by a talented wedding photographer or see friends posting photos of their engagement rings on Instagram, and I get impatient. And I forget to live in the now. And I feel restless and stuck (this usually happens during a very boring day at work). And my mind starts whirling.

I’m known for my impatience and my will to make things happen right now. Yet in reality, once my mind calms down, I don’t actually want right now. Something T constantly needs to remind me of, even when I don’t want to hear it.

Patience.

It is so hard, yet so valuable. If T and I rushed to follow the trend of getting engaged and married, I don’t think we would be as happy. I want to take the time to enjoy each step in our relationship, whether it is within our relationship or a step in our lives that we enjoy together.

So our time will come. Someday. When we are ready. But for now, I will be patient because I know that with patience comes growth. Growth in love. Growth in strength. Growth in self.

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