I work in a windowless office near the elevators and the social hub: the kitchen. Since I am easily distracted by other people’s conversations, I have to keep my door shut. Thus, my office turns into this windowless bleak cave. On days like today, gorgeous sunny ones, the artificial light of my computer screen taunts me.
I started feeling very stuck and frustrated today, so I decided to do an “activity” that I read about in Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps. I just started reading said book the other night (yes I know it is also a blog, but I am old-fashioned and like holding a book in my hands). So far, I really enjoy it, especially as someone who is in that stage of life.
So anyway, back to the activity (though I modified it a little), I pulled out a piece of paper and made a big circle. Inside the big circle, I wrote down everything that is bothering me. Then I made a small box inside the circle and wrote down steps I can take to actually lighten the weight of what is burdening me.
1) Move out – Although I love living at home and I get along with my family very well, I feel ready to move out and grow up. This limbo between adulthood and childhood is exhausting. I know it is practical to live at home as long as possible these days to save money, but I am starting to chomp at the bit. I am setting a personal goal: move out in the next year.
2) Start volunteering – I used to volunteer all the time in high school and college, whether it was for a nonprofit or a school group. I loved doing something because I wanted to and not because I needed to make monies. Once I move out and (hopefully) live with T, I want to start volunteering on Saturday mornings at the local humane society, a local river association (or the CBF), or tutoring.
3) Sign up for a Statistics course – I discovered I need to take statistics before starting a potential MA degree in applied sociology. As someone who avoids math at all costs, I am not looking forward to this course. The prospect of taking it is making me feel more stressed about applying to go back to school. I just need to suck it up, pick one course, and take it. Then I leave my options open in terms of going back to school.
4) Keep on running – I hate running. But it’s good for me. That is all. (I am planning to write about my running journey in another post).
5) Go outside and walk – I don’t know about others, but when I have a bad day, I tend to get stuck and turn into a blob. I need to be better about prying my butt out of the chair, opening the door, and going outside. Whenever I do this, I always feel better.
6) Write, write, write – I love to write. I did not realize this love until recently. I tried my hand at writing novels when I was a child (often they were about animals on adventures), but I never had the confidence to take creative writing classes in college. I loved writing my undergraduate thesis. It was hard work and there were definitely days I did not want to work on it, but I liked the wordsmithing, the puzzle of finding the best way to say something. I started this blog because I needed to exercise my writing muscles. I am also trying to write in other ways – writing a biography on my grandmother for instance, writing poems for holidays and birthdays, and writing love letters to T.
Writing helps me get out of my head, unstick myself, and move forward.